Rage

I do it to myself, I get so frustrated at something so stupid. Video games again they stop being fun and I get enraged when they are to hard. I wish I didn't, I don't stop either and it's not fun and I'll probably try it again.

What would I do if I did not play video games, move on with my life and be motivated to get shit done. Dobut it fuck I hate eveytinhg fuck uffjnujnrgoners'imwlkkmnwe'kmwet'inmnwreg'lkmnwgkmmer'kmmkergkm'm HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

I'm still angry when will I grow up and stop being a wreak like a teen. If it was a switch I could flip I would have done it by now.

Sex

Such a transitory feeling, good yet empty. Maybe I need a different girl, or maybe I should give it up altogether. I am really depressed.

Melaze

I have been in a slump for far to long. Knowing and doing are not the same. I've been good recently at keeping up with my finances. My body and mind are suffering though my lack of proper diet and exercise.

Chained

Video Games are my vice. There are productive things I could and probably should be doing now, yet I am enthralled by my PlayStation 2.

More

Always lacking, always wanting more, more time, more stuff. There is no happiness here.

Desire

I don't have any desire to do anything right now. That's not entirely true, I want to fuck and I chose that word because I mean it in the most vulgar animistic way. I don't want to do anything productive or anything that is "entertainment". I just want to be.

Addiction

I am addicted to entertainment. I can't escape it. I can't control my use of video games and the internet, TV and movie watching, or books. It affects my life. I don't like it I don't like being sucked in. I don't want to stop and I don't know if I can if I wanted to.

It puts me in a hazy state, I understand that from the mindless activities, but the books and some of the internet reading are inexplicable to me.

I said I don't want to stop, that is a lie. I don't know how to stop I don't know what meaning life has without entertainment because it is the only think I do that is fun.

Email

I am afraid to check my email because I do not want to see what I haven't done for school, who I've failed today. I know it's wrong not to because some of those things must be done, some of what people want to say to me is important. I just want to be by my self in a world where no one can reach me.

Fear of Expression

Hello World, it is likely I will never post here again because I am afraid of expressing myself. Also I will probably never have a reader because I will not send this link to anyone.

My hope is that I can free myself of fear by exposing my thoughts to the world, weather they are ever found.